The Ultimate Guide to Positive Self-Talk

Ultimate Guide to Positive Self Talk

If you're like most people, sometime in the last 24 hours you probably said something along these lines to yourself: "Oops, that was stupid," or "I can't believe I just did that!" or "Man, I can't do anything right."


Because the truth of the matter is, we're really hard on ourselves. Yep, for some reason, we truly are our harshest critics.

And that's one of the biggest things that hinders our growth, our happiness, and our success.

Criticizing Yourself Weakens You

Imagine some of the things you say to yourself when you are disappointed with yourself. If you think about it, you can be pretty nasty.

Let's put this in perspective. Imagine some of the things you've said to yourself when you're most frustrated with your results. Now imagine saying those things to your son or daughter, or maybe to a youth you work with at church.

Woah! You'd never say that, right?

What would happen to their self-esteem if you did? That poor little kid would get deflated, sad, dejected, and after a while even stop trying.


What you say to yourself affects you the same way. You just aren't always aware of it because when you're talking to yourself, you feel justified saying those things. After all, they're right, right?

No, they aren't.

Those things are absolutely not true. They don't define you. They just express heavy, momentary emotions in ways that seem accurate but actually damage you.

In spite of the damage it causes, we find it easy, almost normal, to speak that way to ourselves when we're disappointed or embarrassed with our own performance.

My friends, it's time to let that go. It's time to realize you truly are an amazing person!

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Consistent Self-Criticism Kills Progress and Joy

Before we move on to the practical how-tos, there's more I'd like to share with you about self-criticism. The story you tell your brain is the story that's going to be perpetuated about you inside your brain. So if you berate yourself over and over, your brain is going to start believing it. And over time, you will actually become that person. If it's negative, you'll start to see yourself negatively.

Doesn't matter if what you say to yourself is in jest, serious, or out of anger or frustration. The brain hears it and stores it away as evidence. Over time, that evidence builds up. You're going to create a mental perception that you actually are that negative image of yourself.

Someone who sees themselves that way will self-sabotage without even knowing it. You'll feel less joy, less happiness, and less confidence. Your family will suffer and so will your business, goals, and dreams. Any success or growth or changing habits you are able to do will be in spite of that perception.


So how do you do that?

Here are some of the key points to get you started.

Tips to Stop Negative Self-Talk:

In the Moment

  1. Just stop it.* Yep. Catch yourself in the moment and kick those thoughts out before they can take root. Immediately replace them with something positive about yourself.
  2. Use a positive catch-phrase immediately to shift your mental energy. Something negative just came in. Chase it out with something positive.
  3. Use visual imagery to see yourself differently. Right there in that moment, follow-up the positive catch-phrase with a visual image of yourself being completely awesome, amazing, and stunning at whatever just happened. Remember, you get to define your awesomeness. So claim it.
  4. Get active, and get doing something positive. Physical movement shifts your thinking and your energy, especially when done intentionally for just that purpose. Get the blood flowing and your mind on activity.
  5. Let if flow. Negative energy and thinking will flow off once you open the floodgates. So create space for it by letting it out.

Long Term

  1. Train your brain to see yourself as capable of change. The injury that self-criticism causes can be deep and long-lasting. To really change your potential, you need to change the way you see yourself. Use declarations (sometimes called affirmations), journaling, and write and release techniques. Learn to see yourself differently and to believe in yourself. Every time you catch yourself saying something
  2. Forgive yourself for what just happened. Whether you did your best and didn't make it, or you self-sabotaged in some way, you can't change that either. What you can control is moving forward. So drop that albatross and start living with where you are headed next. God's willing to forgive. Trust Him and do likewise.
  3. Forgive yourself for what's happened in the past. They're in the past and you can't change what's happened. So don't hold on to the negative emotions. Your life is moving forward—face that way.
  4. Write a new story. Write a new story about who you are and how you can succeed at whatever you were struggling with. Seriously. Write it out, and read it often.
  5. Practice gratitude. Connect with God and all the good things in your life, and share that with others. Gratitude is a gift that goes both ways and keeps giving and changing you.

These tips are awesome. They work for me, and they will work for you. So it's time to let the negative self-talk go and start telling your brain all the awesome things about you know to be true, want to be true, and hope to be true. Over time, just like a little child, you'll perk up, start to believe it, and then start to become it.

Now, I have a little gift for you. My free toolkit, Slay Negative Self-Talk, will teach you a very powerful, very effective tool for eliminating negative self-talk and creating positive personal perception. Use the link below to download it today!

Want to Eliminate Your Negative Thoughts?

Download your FREE Slay Negative Self-Talk Toolkit today!

* Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave this counsel when talking about judging or being critical of others, but it applies perfectly to being judgmental or critical of yourself: "When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!" (April 2012 general conference)

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Guide to Positive Self Talk

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